Frida Lomas - My Story

Hello Warriors, I admire you all, and I feel a great connection with you warriors. Margi truly inspires me and I wish one day to meet her.

 

Here is my story and some facts I wanted to include:

 

I am interested that people break so many myths about the disturbances of eating disorders as if it was a taboo, a mystery; I wonder why people are ashamed to talk about eating disorders...

 

Facts:

1. Eating disorders are a disease, it is not a whim, it is a mental illness.

 

2. People suffering from Anorexia or Bulimia are neither anorexic nor bulimic, that terrible disease does not define us as people, we are much more than that.

 

3. There are different eating disorders, so you have to be informed to be alert, detect timely and attend to people who are going through this.

 

4. Eating disorders can develop through the combination of psychological, interpersonal and social conditions. Inadequate feelings, depression, anxiety, loneliness, as well as family problems and personal relationships can contribute to the development of these disorders. The obsessive idealisation of our culture for thinness and the "perfect body" is also a contributing factor to eating disorders. By: National Eating Disorders Academy (NEDA) https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

 

5. You will ask yourself why people who suffer from Anorexia see themselves fat, here is the answer: the malnutrition caused by the lack of food (nutrients) distorts the body image.

 

MY STORY:

 

I was a girl that when specialists gave us talks about eating disorders I used to say I'll never be involved in that, why they do not eat, what is wrong with food? They are very thin, why they see themselves fat? I asked myself so many questions; like all the people who do not know about the subject but at the same time I did not care. That in 8th & 9th grade.

 

My grandmother got sick (she's the one I love the most), my dog died who lived with me since I was born (2002), family problems, social networks, etc, were one of the causes of my eating disorder. All this happened so fast.

 

To pass the time I was alone while my mother took care of my grandma, I exercised while she was gone. I was obsessed with working out, dance classes for hours in the afternoon, too much stress with school, marks on the back, discolouration on my face, I was just a body of bones and pale skin. But I did not see myself that way, what I tell you was told to me by the people who love me. I looked myself fat. Every day working out more, an obsession, always in my mind, "I can do more, I can do more", exercising early in the morning, telling my mom that I only meditated.

 

Having very little or nothing for breakfast lunch and dinner. Drinking a lot of litres of water a day. Doing so many rituals to calm my thinking, my bad thinking. On the other hand I was so eager to eat, I loved watching people eat and I did not eat. But when they offered me food I got so mad.

 

My mom like all the people who love me said that I was not Frida, that was not the Frida they knew.

 

After going with so many psychologists, nothing worked, every day worse. My mom told me she was going to take me with a nutritionist but I refused and got angry.

 

People asked me why I was so thin I would answer them "In April I was in the hospital because I had salmonella", that was my excuse, one day the director of the school where I study called me and  I went to her office, I was nervous because I already knew what she was going to tell me. I talk to her, she told me that María Casas (a Spanish writer who spent 15 years of her life with an eating disorder) had written her book about her struggle with eating disorders, she lent me the book to read it, that's what I did. I felt identified with most things I read. I did not ask for help, I thought, "I do not have an eating disorder", however it was horrible not to ask for help, saving me months of suffering would have been a better option.

 

My mother warned me that she was going to take me to the hospital, I was scared, because I knew that in there they were going to feed me by force and they were going to take away my water. My mom was very sad and she cried a lot, when she almost does not cry. One day my mom didn’t doubt it, packed my things and took me to the hospital.

 

I had salmonella, again. However, I no longer felt the symptoms because of the severe malnutrition I had. They made me too many studies to find out why I lost so many kilos in such a short period of time. The doctor responsible for me during my stay in the hospital said that I had anorexia. I refused. I said, "That doctor is crazy". The doctor proposed to give me intravenous nutrition, since I did not want to eat.

 

My mom thinking that everything would change when I left the hospital.

 

I left the hospital with my arms swollen by the inflamed veins of the intravenous serum and so many days in the hospital. When I went out I ate less. My mom went to a secret date with María Casas, I did not know, when I found out I got so mad. She recommended a clinic in Monterrey, NL, specialised in eating disorders. My mom didn’t hesitate to take me. It was on the 4th of July that I had the appointment we had planned to return that same day to my city, but it was so bad that the doctor gave the option to my mother to intern me in the clinic. My mom accepted, my family did everything possible so that I was well. 

 

The next day I was already in the clinic. Between screaming and crying, I was terrified that I would not be able to be with my family and much more that I would have to eat.

 

 I was diagnosed with Anorexia and Anxiety Disorder.

 

 I learned many things during my recovery, I thought it was the worst thing that could have happened to me but now I think about it and I think it was one of the best things that my mom chose for me. Super valuable things for life, I read incredible books, since it was not one of my favourite hobbies to read; most of my day was in therapy, but I also painted, wove, sang, cried, laughed, I got angry, I shouted, I smiled, I was glad, I suffered, I talked, I had fun, etc. My stay in the clinic was very hard but I prayed day by day.

 

 I had companions who later became great friends, great human beings, I have no words to describe them, they made my day happy, even if it was the worst. I am infinitely grateful to them, to my family and to all the people who have helped my recovery.

 

Thank God I'm out but I'm still fighting against Anorexia, not leaving hospitalisation the eating disorder is leaving me, every day you have to fight, there are bad days and other very good ones, I continue with therapies, study, after pausing my studies for 3 months. This is not easy, I am happy with what I have achieved and I have great faith. 

 

Books that helped me a lot: 

• God never blinks by Regina Brett 

• The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo 

• Who moved my cheese? by Spencer Jonhson and Ken Blanchard 

• The monk who sold his Ferrari by Robin S. Sharma 

• The knight in rusty armor by Robert Fisher

Love Frida,

x

Margherita Barbieri