Andriana Piki - My Battle
I walked through such a tough season and if through sharing it I can in some way be helpful in your own personal battles then I have achieved what I set out to do.
Much love to you all,
On the radio they were discussing eating disorders. My attention peaked. A caller phoned in to say she was in her twelfth year of her eating disorder. Hearing this shook me to my core. I thought to myself, that is going to be me if I don't do something drastic. By this stage, I was entering the fourth year of my eating disorder. I had stopped bringing my food up but I sadly continued to binge eat.
At the beginning of my last year of secondary school I began to see a psychiatrist.
By seeing a psychiatrist I was able to eventually change my thought process and perspective. Eventually, I stopped binge eating too.
I found new ways to expend my time and energy so that my thoughts were no longer dominated by food. I began to put my life back together and I began to become healthy. I want to mention to everyone that there are serious health implications from what I was doing. Irregular heartbeat and size, stomach ruptures, hormonal abnormalities, infertility, some of which can be lifelong or potentially fatal...
It's been eight years since my recovery. Since then I have a helpful outlook on what healthy looks and feels like.
I can enjoy food, I don't obsess over it or overdo exercise. I'm equipped with experiences and lessons yet I constantly pursue being more educated. I don't feel guilty after eating nor do I feel I have to hide my eating habits. I don't weigh myself daily. My weight is healthy and naturally fluctuates because what I eat, my hormones and the structure of my life, and I'm totally ok with that. I eat to nourish my body. I don't look in the mirror and despise what I see or look for things to change. I look in the mirror and look for things to appreciate and love.
Yes sometimes I don't feel good. I might be bloated from what I've eaten. Or have bad skin. But I take the bad days along with the good and have lots of room for imperfections. They are part of who I am and I accept that.
I hope by sharing my battle I was able to provide someone somewhere, a little bit of comfort in knowing what you're going through today is a season, not a lifetime sentence. I would have loved to read something encouraging, or found some hope when I was going through my own season. Just to know I wasn't alone in it... you are not in it alone. We are warriors of an army that never leaves someone to stand alone..