Katy Ball - Katy's Poem

Hello team warriors, 

I'm Katy and I'm 27. I have suffered from anorexia with bulimic subtypes for 14 years and I have sadly spent my life in and out of hospital but things are getting better- as I have just spent a whole year free of inpatient care! 

The poem I have written has been an ongoing poem which I wrote at different times of my anorexia. I wrote the beginning part of this poem in my last inpatient stay when I was in a very dark moment but I have now chosen to complete the poem now that I can see the light. 

My Poem - Strong

Sitting there, all fragile and broken. 

Sunken cheeks and blackened eyes. 

Her mind is viciously wondering, her cold, beating heart cries. 

Material hangs of her razor blade bones, protruding from her skin. She covers up, layer over layer in disbelief she's thin. 

Whispering, laughs and pointed hands, paranoia is always there. Awkward and uncomfortable, a pain she cannot bare.

Her skin it cracks, her hair it pulls, all brittle, mild and weak. Some say it's for attention, but it's simply a cry for help she seeks. 

Look behind that deep facade, the mask she always wears. Underneath a little girl, her head full off nightmares.

She knows it's wrong, it feels so right, a punishment, a jail. The little girl tries to escape but too often she has failed.

Starving from the outside in, there's nothing more to say. Saddened thoughts corrupt her brain, as she plans her final day.

Stop! Yells the voice from deep within;

Where reality truly lives. 

This is not you, the illness lies, don't take the lies it gives. 

You are worthy, you are strong. Don't let it beat you down. 

You are beauty, you are one; they can not see you frown.

Be a survivor, make a plan, to fight this every day. No other choice, no other way, there's no day but today. 

So, here I am still fighting, it hasn't gone just yet. Now I'm wishing and I'm hopeful, I won't live with regret. 

One day I will beat this; and share my story here. One day I will beat this; there is no room to fear.

Love from, 

Katy Ball. 

Instagram: @katylouiseball1