The Power Of Choice
"You will always hit the 'regrets' stage for the risks you didn't take. 'I should have done this, I should have done that' will be a daily statement occurring in non-risk takers lives. In this regret stage you will visit the life in which you wished you had lived. As soon as we begin to diminish in our strength and our stamina we fall into the hole of regrets from the risks we should have taken but didn't".
I want to emphasise the power of choice, so I chose to include it within this boosting chapter, seeing as the choices you make can boost your life, and understanding choice can be the best stepping stone to feeling that boost. Choice is a fundamental power of the human experience.
Everyone must learn that the power of the choices you make have infinite consequences or infinite benefits. Personally, I think that we should be teaching lessons in school purely on the power of choice. We should be making the power of choice part of every school curriculum. From the littlest choice to something huge, and here's the paradox: You have no idea which is which because after all - what is a little choice compared to a big choice in terms of the long-term outcome?
A big choice is an obvious one: getting a job, buying a house, getting married, having children, getting divorced etc. The choices that actually have more importance when it comes to your health, when it comes to healing, when it comes to empowering yourself are the tiniest choices that you probably would be taught to think 'have the least power' or are the choices that you make in the privacy of your own mind and company, that perhaps you have grown up to believe are the most insignificant, which perhaps you hear repeatedly... they are the most powerful. The most powerful impact on your biology, your soul, on your sense of who you are, your wellbeing, on your life map!
These are the types of statements that are likely to make, quick and easy. The worth of yourself? Easy, quick, simply: nothing, aced it. The statements you make, that lower your self worth and deplete your inner happiness, those 5-second statements hold consequences that can last a lifetime. These statements are the easiest, because if someone said, 'I need you to bring proof of your-self worth in a basket' we couldn't do it. Questions like, 'Are you a good person?' 'Do you love yourself?' are the questions we struggle to answer, so end up finding answers on the ground.
So what does choice have to do with any of this?
Well, If you came to me and you said, 'I don't feel well, nothing makes me happy, I am always complaining, I ache, I am tired, I'm almost exhausted but I'm not, I almost like my life but I actually don't, I can almost love someone but not really, I almost make it there where I actually feel love but then I never actually really feel it. I think I feel it, I think-feel and every now and again I get a love-high or a happy-high, but it doesn't last, I take two aspirins and it passes. And then I think that it is, but then it's not, but then it almost is, but not quite. Then I go to a therapist and ask is this love, is this happy, is this living? Maybe if I try hard enough, yes maybe, but no, so I find someone to blame.'
There has never been a species like us, people have so many inside problems, so much self-confusion and self-love issues. Perhaps this is caused by us, the human race itself being too curious, too intelligent, digging too deep? We are extraordinary in our issues, phenomenal in our dysfunction, here's another thing that's unique about us: we are born knowing certain things! We are wired for it before our first independent breath. It's in our survival instincts, it's in our spiritual instincts. It's in our DNA, our blood and our soul. We are born knowing things before we can even talk or walk, we are born knowing how to love, we are born with natural emotions, our choices are the most life-changing things we've got going for us and we know it. And that's why we are terrified to make choices. Ask someone, 'where do you want to go for coffee?' 'I don't know' or 'where do you want to meet?' 'I don't know'. People are terrified of making choices. Terrified of the consequence, or being held accountable for a consequence, always opting for the, 'no go ahead, you choose’.
Your mind gets the day shift, your heart gets the night shift. Your mind says, 'I think' your heart says, 'I feel’ yet you don't let the two of them talk, because when they do - you actually have to do something, say something, step into your fear zone and out of your comfort zone. Choice terrifies people, it terrified me, most people will do anything to postpone making choices. So I'm going to help you out, and we are going to go through a list of choices that matter more than the stereotypical 'big ones', the choices that make a difference to yourself, your inner self.
The First: The choice to actually live an honest life. Full frontal honesty, talk the way you walk, not just speaking the truth but telling the truth. I am going to live with integrity, I am going to make my choices for what I believe in and on my life's philosophy. What this means is that I am not going to betray myself, I am not going to go against my beliefs, or compromise my own opinions or passions, I am not going to put myself in the position or circumstance where I am not being honest with myself. You can eat all the wheatgrass you want, sip on all the health-boosting tea, eat all the special nuts and seeds, demolish all of your greens, yet if you lie to yourself... you will simply not heal. Honesty heals… an honest person that eats cat food will go further than you. So the number one choice (if you haven't guessed it already) is the choice, to be honest with yourself and to be honest to others. When you are honest, your body will know, your mind will know and your inner healing will know.
The Second: The choice to not pass my suffering on but my wisdom. So that from the years of my life, your life, his or her life you choose that the gift you pass on is the wisdom that you have learnt from experiences, which were perhaps hard and the times you may have perhaps suffered in. You can pass on the heavy, nagging, murmurs which drag at the heels of your children, family or friends or you can choose to harvest all the wisdom from those times. That's up to you, everyone has a choice and you can choose either. No one can hold you against what you choose, but once again it is all about the choice and for obvious reasons I would encourage you to journey on with only the wisdom you have learnt from these harder times rather than leaving behind all the wisdom and carrying with you only the struggle. It's the choice, we all have and believe me I am not saying not to feel grief, or pain, or to forget about your hurt, that 'struggling' is bad, as I believe our struggles make us stronger so in theory are good and beneficial for us. If we look at life however, and the vast amount of religions and spiritual beliefs, this choice is one of the most talked about learnings. That there comes a time where we must let go of the pain, and sacrifice our struggles for strength and to wipe away our hurt in order to grow wiser. Some of the grief, injuries, deaths, wars and mental battles that have happened to people are unbelievable and the truth is nothing can make that go away, and the memories of those things will never fade, but healing is not about forgetting, it's about looking at what happened to us and saying, 'this will never defeat me' and absorbing all the wisdom you can from that particular experience of pain, and while not forgetting what happened, the real stamp is about not forgetting that you are still here after it all.
The Third: The choice to take risks. Take risks in life, don't wait for proof. And how does this factor into your health? Because what actually happens when people become ill is that they feel their life force diminishing and you always hit regrets. You will always hit the 'regrets' stage for the risks you didn't take. 'I should have done this, I should have done that' will be a daily statement occurring in non-risk takers lives. In this regret stage you will visit the life in which you wished you had lived. As soon as we begin to diminish in our strength and our stamina we fall into the hole of regrets from the risks we should have taken but didn't. These powerful choices of taking risks are usually turned down by the equally powerful 'what if'. What if it costs me too much? What if I fail? What if they laugh? What if it's wrong? What if I cry? What if I feel humiliated? What if I lose?
Well, what if?
Don't let the what if win. Don't even let the what if in. Because what if will only cause fear, regret and negativity. It causes you to feel frightened, it causes you to overthink and forget about your instincts or initial feelings. It causes you to doubt yourself, your strength, kindness and intelligence, it causes you to feel judged, paranoid, weak and vulnerable. Those what ifs cause you to play it safe, plateau and holt you from reaching your potential. Choose to take risks and abolish the what ifs.