The Importance of Belief

"I used to have ridiculously low confidence in myself, my capabilities and my body. As a dancer, the, “I’m not ever good enough” mentality was drilled into me, and because of this, my self-esteem was rock bottom for years. I was made to feel like I had to restrict what I eat in order to get to a place of confidence in the ballet world, the pressure that I felt (to appear a certain way) grew into Anorexia".


STEP 1:  Believe that anything is possible. 

Believing that anything is possible begins by believing that everything is positive, or at least has a positive side to it. My Anorexia for example, is a horrible part of my life that I could remember with a pitch black negative mind, and at first, I struggled to see anything positive in myself being ill and trapped within Anorexia for so many years. However like I said believing that I could recover was born by forgiving my past struggles and regrets and forgiving myself came from thinking of all the positives.

All the great life-changing lessons I had learnt, the self-discovery journey I had been on, the respect I had learnt; to view other people suffering from mental illnesses with, the friendships I had made, the dark experiences and feelings I felt which make all the good days seem even brighter, and knowing that the battle I was fighting was making me stronger each and every day… they are all certainly positives. Occasionally it can be easy to dwell on things in your life which aren’t going so well, however it’s not going to stand you in good stead for removing any negativity from your life, or for moving forward, and will definitely stop you from ever believing that anything is possible (except perfection… and that is simply ridiculous). Sometimes, taking a moment each day to focus on the positive parts of your life, (whether it be loving your job, having a wonderful family, or even the sun shining outside) will help you and your positive attitude to grow.

STEP 2: Believe that you are beautiful.

I used to have ridiculously low confidence in myself, my capabilities and my body. As a dancer, the, “I’m not ever good enough” mentality was drilled into me, and because of this, my self-esteem was rock bottom for years. I was made to feel like I had to restrict what I eat in order to get to a place of confidence in the ballet world, the pressure that I felt (to appear a certain way) grew into Anorexia. This pressure I felt translated into myself developing Anorexia as a form of communicating that I was struggling to deal with the ‘ideal’ stereotype etc. That close-nit relationship between body image, food and confidence is a tricky one to navigate. It’s true that feeling good in your skin leads to an abundance of self love and confidence, but this doesn’t need to come from extreme diets and extreme ‘control’ over your food, but simply by accepting who you are, for all those beautiful flaws that make you unique and yourself. 

It took me a long time to get to the place I am now, five solid years of self inflicting battles in fact, but now I love every little curve and claps of fat that I have on my body and I don’t want to change them. Who’s to say love handles weren’t there to be loved, right? Of course alongside this I love my body when it feels strong, powerful and capable, thats why I simply love dancing so much. Seeing more tone and strength in my body from being playful, and passionate in dancing.

Dancing just makes me feel on top of the world. 


I wanted to give you a handful of my self-love tips for feeling confident, sassy and sexy in your own skin.

Being confident comes down to believing that you are beautiful and you can’t ‘be’ if you don’t ‘believe’. So tip one on the list is the belief itself. 

Tip two on the list is to stop comparing yourself to others, cross a massive red line through that one! When you look at others admire their beauty but also remind yourself that their beauty does not take away from your own. It’s easy to make comparisons, but ultimately you will never be anybody but you, and you shouldn’t compare yourself to anybody else, it can become incredibly torturous so you need to escape that habit as soon as you can. Confidence comes from accepting who you are, and being truly happy with being that person. It’s not an instant thing, but loving yourself is just about the best thing you can do for your health. After all you gotta rock this beauty of yours every single day so you may as well feel incredible doing it.

Tip three that's great for building your confidence is by getting rid of perfection. Perfection is boring. It's the dullest, most unfulfilling thing in the world. While it may seem amazing, and aiming for it may feel, ‘great’ as working for something often does… you can never actually get there, it doesn't exist. The buzz of determination you may feel for striving for perfect is just a trick, it's the feeling of your determination being the zest not the actual goal itself. So stop trying to achieve it, now. Step away from impossible demands. Think of the people you love and why you love them. It's not for their brilliant careers and phenomenal houses, with immaculate gardens; it is their personalities, their smiley grins, and their quirky and endearing flaws: this is why you love them!

If you did, by any bizarre miracle, become perfect, you would have no friends and your life would be unbelievably boring... just a thought. 

Tip four and one I wanted to squeeze in about reflecting on your reflection. When you look in the mirror, how do you feel? Critical or content?

I can sense the answer, and don't worry we will change that. That bad body image, and low self belief in your beauty (both inside and out) often comes down to the culprit of criticism. While criticism can be productive, self-hate criticism really, really isn’t. We all need to learn to be kinder to ourselves, and much more complimentary. So when you see the mirror next you should be giving yourself a big kiss. You have a beautiful, unique, capable, healthy body… take every opportunity to celebrate that! Don’t hate your reflections, love them, kiss them and believe that the person looking in them is beautiful.. because he/she is!

Lastly being beautiful, when simply put, is all about accepting and loving the skin you’re in, and knowing that you do not need to change yourself for anyone!

Believe you are beautiful and you will be just that. 

Margi

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Margherita Barbieri