Stopping to fear ‘white’ bread
Yay! Yippee! In coming personal achievement...
Can we please just appreciate for a moment, how I used to only eat ‘whole-grain/brown’ bread... but that now I encourage myself to eat all types, grains, tastes and colours of bread.
While whole-grain bread may be more nutritiously dense than refined-white bread, I know that as long as my relationship to food is healthy, then really thats the only bit that truly matters.
Step by step:
For four years I didn’t eat bread of any sort. White, brown, soft, stale, rye, pitta, bun, bagel, roll, you name it... not even my (now) favourite food in the world, blessed banana bread. - I know, I know, my life was a nightmare. ‘Bread’ was scribbled in black ugly letters on my fear foods list for four entire years (and I seriously missed it).
Rougly two years ago (on the date I am uploading this blog) I began my recovery. I returned home from Elmhurst Ballet School/college and kickstarted my journey to health with therapy, restoring my weight and erasing my fear-foods.
I started slowly by re-introducing myself to rye crackers, then worked my way to pre-sliced wholemeal bread, then wholemeal pittas, then whole-grain seeded loafs, then whole-grain seeded buns, rolls and wraps and then I finally began making my own banana bread using whole-grain flours. This was amazing, and while others smelt banana bread baking in the oven, I smelt victory.
Although, however great it was that I was now able to eat bread, it did still have rules tied too it. The general word ‘bread’ may of no longer been on my fear foods list, but even then I only felt safe eating it if it was brown or whole grain and white bread was still a big no-no for me.
But within the last year I have totally smashed this element of my fear too. I’ve had an even bigger ‘bread break-through’ as I’ve started enjoying white bread and using white-refined flours with my home-bakes and (literally weekly) banana bread bakes.
I can now go to restaurants and not only eat from the bread basket but can eat either the white or the brown bread in it. I can now go out to a cafe for lunch and buy a vegan sandwich of any colourful sort, white, brown or 50/50. I can now munch on a bread stick, dip pitta in hummus and smother jam on bread without it needing to be a particular ‘grain, colour, or unrefined status’.
Bread is bread and whether it’s white or brown really doesn’t matter. What matters is that I now enjoy bread and no longer fear it. Join me Warriors, grab a loaf, grab a pen and start crossing off your fear-foods.