*VIDEO ALERT* - Calf workout on YouTube
Recovering from an eating disorder is about two key things:
1) Restoring our bodies
2) Reclaiming our lives
I have created a new YouTube video all about key point 1) encouraging the restoration of our bodies. In short: being strong and not skinny.
When I restored my weight I gained lots of muscle mass and strength, I complained about this for a long-long time as I was so used to looking skinny, slim or even skeletal. My reflection in mirrors would cause violent echos in my head to ring with bullying voices but in time, and with therapy I learnt to fight back and accept and love my body.
I would never wish for myself to look the way I used to, I would never want to feel as weak as I once did and never ever will I allow words of hatred to be aimed against my body again.
I am strong now both mentally and physically. I used to wake up each morning with a goal to lose weight, in hopes of pleasing my anorexia. But now I wake up each morning aiming to become stronger and feel my best.
I made this calf workout/stretch-out video to show how my headspace has changed for the better and that because my anorexia is vanishing, my strength is growing. I now believe strong is beautiful.